Monthly Archives: March 2015

Some ramblings on not very much.

Elected politicians are only marginally better than the unelected kind. This is a great truth, although it may be accused of being a slight exaggeration, until you bear in mind that Saddam, Assad and various other despots were all technically elected. Ouch.

In any case, we in the United Kingdom are currently in the throes of an election campaign even more depressingly childish than the last. How people perform in a televised debate is seen by some as a way of deciding who is best to run the country, presumably based on a presumption that you only run the country for an hour or two every few months and that involves a lot of shouting and arguing. Which is possibly not far from the truth. when Belgium couldn’t organise a government the country managed to carry along quite well without it, and failed to collapse spectacularly or invade any neighbors. Then again, they have good chocolate to keep them calm while waiting for the politicians to get out of their collective sulk. this they did eventually, possibly when the bottom layer was finished.

But back to out elections. I’m rather hoping that there is  a Monster raving loony candidate in my constituency, or else I’m going to struggle to choose anyone else to vote for. If they aren’t standing I may feel let down, which would mean all the major parties and the minor ones would have abandoned me. The only party who haven’t disappointed me are the Greens, who have been fully as nutty as I expected.The only more disappointing thing than the parties is the voters; they don’t quite seem to get the whole idea of local representation, instead voting on party, tribal, or even worse, Prime Minister cadidatorial lines. This can lead me to only one conclusion:

We need a new electorate.

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Clarinetist

She was a celebrity in her home town, and pretty well known around the country. The continent generally knew something about her, and her name would ring a bell the world over. This was of course due to her wonderful, sublime clarinet-playing; a skill which she had earned the hard way.

Most practitioners of the musical arts by the medium of an instrument will tell you of the long hard hours, the mindless repetition. This was not for her; she would scorn such an uncertain method of achieving her goals. No, she had sold her soul. The difficulty of this was that she had already mortgaged her soul, as well as taking out a car loan against it; therefore convincing the devil to accept it in exchange for clarinet skills had taken the talents of a world-class negotiator. But he had been impressed, and had eventually acquiesced to the deal; exhausted by the long hours of begging, cajoling, flattering and pleading, he had signed the contract without a second glance; a mistake that was going to come back to bite him. But for now she was a clarinetist of note, the fact it was only a mortgage making him flat-out refuse any overly-supernatural power provision. Besides, the pied piper had  caused a terrible rat problem in hell when it was his turn to pay up, and so it was only a very high standard of natural playing that was granted to Loiuse Meldhorn when the bargain was struck.

Still, she enjoyed her fame and used to ignore the devil whenever he turned up in the audience to make faces at her. For his part he could hardly wait for her to die without repayment, so that he could repossess her soul.

But Louise Meldhorn was not the sort of woman to die in a hurry, and most certainly not when she was enjoying herself. And so it was many a year that the devil had to wait until her health began to fail and he could rub his hands with anticipation.

When she finally died it was not the great day the devil had been hoping for. In fact he discovered, to his extreme distress, that the original contract he had signed included a life insurance clause of one soul, payable in the event that she should die before she had completed repayments on the mortgage. He was most irritated, but wisely realised that she must have had an excellent lawyer, so he left it uncontested. There are some evil entities you do not mess with, after all.

Severely Odd has published on Amazon